Fun with Google Search and Theological Rabbit-Holes

Sometimes it’s fun to sit at your computer and type random stuff in “google,” just to see how many hits you get for bizarre search combinations.

For instance, something normal, like “chocolate” and “cake” gets about 51 million hits. Type “chocolate” and “hormone” and you’re down to a mere 1.5 million results; still a lot, but far less than chocolate cake.

Part of the fun is that your search engine wants to “help you” as you go; as you type, it fills in suggestions for searches already done. Chocolate hormone effect, chocolate hormone release, and the like were suggestions to go with my random acts of keyboarding kindness. So, as it turns out, there seems to be reason to get over a million hits for “chocolate hormone.” It goes somewhere.

But resist the urge. Try to type something bizarre and off the wall, like “chocolate” and “gestapo.” That gets 381,000 hits. Who knew?

Trending: Obama Administration Forces to Allow Transgender Bathroom Use

Now, I did this one on a lark, based on something I had heard about but found a little strange. First, I typed “baptism,” and got 51 million hits. “Extraterrestrial” got me almost 10 million hits. But then, I put “extraterrestrial” and “baptism” together and got 57,000 results.

Now, that blew my mind. And I’m not sure the biggest surprise was that I had so many results for “extraterrestrial baptism.” I think what took the ‘bizzaro’ prize in this exercise in randomness was the destinations these results were showing me. Digging through the search results, I got to “The National Catholic Reporter,” “The Catholic Answers Forum,” “The UFO Digest,” “The Christian Post,” “The Independent” and “The Guardian,” both out of the UK.

Ok. I will confess. It’s not totally random. (I’ve looked into this stuff before elsewhere.) But the first time I did, it was a shock – mostly because of where the links took me. These are not links to trivial destinations.

As it turns out, the Vatican seems to find itself deeply immersed in a search of the cosmos for intelligent alien life. (Sorry; pardon the ‘baptism’ pun, but I just couldn’t resist.) It seems that in 2008, for instance, the Vatican’s chief astronomer, José Gabriel Funes, publicly suggested that there could be life on other planets.

It seems the majority of our population these days buys into the idea that there may be life on other planets. The mathematical odds of this being the case seems likely to many, given the number of stars, the number of planets surrounding them, and the odds that there could be another planet out there that could have the right gravity, temperature, water, nutrients, etc., to have intelligent life.

aliensBy extension, many feel it’s not a major stretch to think that if there is life on other planets, they could well be visiting us. This is the explanation that many would buy into for at least some the numerous sightings of UFOs around the world, the reported remains of extraterrestrials reported at Roswell, New Mexico and the like.

A curious irony is that even many atheists find it plausible that aliens could actually be traveling here from other planets. Richard Dawkins buys into the theory that life on our planet may well have been seeded here by living organisms planted on the backs of crystals and launched here from some other planet, somewhere in the vast cosmos. I think it takes more faith to believe that than to believe that God put us here, though Dawkins would disagree. But how much food and fuel would critters need to get here from other planets billions of miles away? And it also begs the question, “why us, and why this planet?”

The alternate theory, held by many in the field of UFO research (Such as L. A. Marzulli and Chris Putnam) is that these “aliens” are not really extra-planetary at all; rather, they are “extra-dimensional” beings. Specifically, the charge is that they are fallen angelic beings (demonic beings) masquerading as visitors from other planets. Among the reasons for thinking so are the following:

  • As mentioned before, the logistics of traveling through space over distances of billions of miles seems extremely difficult – food, water, and real problems like aging seem to pose insurmountable obstacles.
  • If these are critters from other planets, why did they zero in on us? From billions of miles away, how did they decide that our planet was worth a risk? Or have they been here perhaps multiple times before, in which case, it begs all kinds of questions about the sophistications of their technology.
  • Why they are so secretive about their appearances if they are here that often?
  • On the side of the theory that these critters being demonic manifestations: of the abductions that are reported (supposedly as high as 1% to 3% of the population according to some sources) evangelical Christians never seem to be among the numbers of people reporting to be abducted.
  • Of the people who have had encounters and appearances of these gray, bulbous-headed critters, the appearances stop immediately when they are treated like demonic attacks and authority is taken over them in the name of Jesus.
  • There are numerous charges by people well-connected with the Vatican that there is satanism and demon-worship happening at very high levels within the Vatican itself; as such, the “theology” being prepared by the Vatican to introduce to the Church that these critters are our spirit-brothers seems like it may well be a little “tainted,” to say the least.

The Catholic Church seems to be committing to the idea that the alien is my brother, and if these creatures show up on the front porch of our planet, then they’re perhaps here to teach us something; that they may well be more moral than we are; that we need to accept them as spirit brothers; that we should welcome the idea that they should be baptized into the Catholic Church.

The irony is that it only makes sense to “baptize them into the Catholic Church” if, in fact, Jesus’ death on the cross atoned not only for the sins of mankind, but somehow for the sins of every “critter kind” in the universe; which seems to put our little planet smack dab in the middle of the play of the ages in our universe; which makes our planet unique in the story of redemption; which then seems to undercut the whole theory of universes many, planets many, life-forms many, of which the Earth is merely one, having evolved by chance. And this seems to be part of the scenario the Church has to paint in order for us to buy into this idea of the aliens coming here from somewhere else, having evolved elsewhere by chance.

This rabbit hole of “the alien is my brother” seems to be a much harder pill to swallow than the idea that “the alien is my deceiver” – part of the great deception and falling away, as spoken of in 2nd Thessalonians, of which we were warned to watch for in the end times.

If they ever start to show up in 3-mile wide craft, hovering over a city near you, don’t bet money they are here to serve you; unless, like the old “Twighlight Zone” episode, they are here to serve you up, on a plate, maybe for dinner.

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by

Join the conversation!

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!

Send this to a friend