Democrat Roadmap… A Satire

The Democrats are facing a tough election this year.

Obama has faced a tanking approval rating, candidates have been abandoning him to avoid his plague so to speak. The Democrats need a strategy to win, and I know the perfect solution. 
Instead of ranting about how horrible Obama is and how they need to abandon him, I will provide a different approach. The Democrats need to continue doing what they do best: roping in the young generation and minorities  (a group that the Republicans have seemingly brushed off).

This tactic has worked well for the Donkey Party thus far.

democratsThe Democrats also need to pretend to continue pushing for social liberty. Liberty is a great thing. So why limit it? After all, the Democrats can give us liberty and security. (Sarcasm) I mean, just look at their terror-stopping PRISM plan! It’s a perfect combination that the
Republicans cannot beat. After all, why stop a 14 year old girl from going across state lines to get an abortion? There’s nothing wrong with that, I mean, it’s only murder right?
The more and more I think about it, the Republicans just might be in trouble this year, especially if the Democrats utilize their secret weapon.

Trending: Muslim Religious Leader says Saying Merry Christmas is Worse than Murder

Obama himself.

In order to guarantee a Democrat victory, you just need Obama to support every Republican candidate running against a Democrat! I am willing to back my proposal up to the point that if it fails, I’ll get you your doctor back!

The Republicans need to be very careful of this new weapon. He can be very devastating to them. Obama can lead the Democrats to an upset this election year. Just imagine my fellow Donkey friends, all we need to do is have Obama back the Republicans and the election will be ours!

After all, what is better than raising the minimum wage just to help the computer industry? If the minimum wage is raised to  $15.00 an hour, Foxconn, Lenovo, and all the foreign computer companies will be extremely greatful to us! They might even ask us to destroy our nukes and give them to Hamas against the evil Israel! What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

So, fellow Donkeys, support Obama and petition him to support the Republicans so we will win!

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by

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