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If I Were Barack Obama

If I Were Barack Obama


If Fred Astaire were Gene Kelly he would be stubby,

Clumsy, athletically awkward.


If I were Barack Obama I would be telling lies for the fun

Of it,

Taking no responsibility for lost jobs

And heads,

Discovering that my nose was as long as Pinocchio’s.


Where are the bowling lanes in Iraq?

In Syria?

Our heads are striking terror in our cowardly hearts.


If you were me you would no longer be defending Barack

With Democratic fibs like partisan figs,

Hungry misrepresentations,

Narcissistic wishes.


If I had tap shoes I would have no idea of how to tap dance?

If Obama had the presidential gavel he would still not be emphatic.


In the Illinois Senate Obama always said that he was present.

He wasn’t then.

He isn’t now.

He is on some distant golf course dropping a Titleist out of his cuff

Onto a new lie.

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by

About the author

David Lawrence

David Lawrence

David Lawrence has a Ph.D. in literature. He has published over 200 blogs, 600 poems, a memoir “The King of White-Collar Boxing,” several books of poems, including “Lane Changes.” Both can be purchased on He was a professional boxer and a CEO. Last year he was listed in New York Magazine as the 41st reason to love New York.

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