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EPA Soothes Sharknado Fears

If it wasn’t for the EPA millions of Americans would be likely be locked in their homes cowering in fear.

Rampant fear of imminent ecological disaster had caused several people (though we can’t figure out who) to fear that something called a “Sharknado” could actually happen.

Fortunately for all Americans we have the EPA to soothe all our Sharknado fears.

If you’re a little confused as to what all the hubbub is about, don’t worry, you’re not alone. I think it’s safe to say that most Americans have no idea what a #Sharknado is. Personally, I wish I didn’t either. However, my job as your fearless blogger is to uncover the harrowing stories that you need to know about. And some of the stories no one should ever know about.

This my friends is Sharknado… in all it’s glory.

I bet you’re grateful that the EPA put out that disclaimer about sharknado’s now. I would hate to imagine what kind of world it would be if we had to live in fear of the dreaded sharknado on a day to day basis.

Thank you EPA, you’ve finally made yourself worth every single tax dollar.

(A disclaimer: this whole post was satire. Sharknados may (or may not) be real, and the EPA is not worth a single red cent of my taxes.)

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by

About the author

Onan Coca

Onan is the Editor-in-Chief at Romulus Marketing. He’s also the managing editor at, and the managing partner at You can read more of his writing at Eagle Rising.
Onan is a graduate of Liberty University (2003) and earned his M.Ed. at Western Governors University in 2012. Onan lives in Atlanta with his wife and their three wonderful children.

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