Meet the Machine that will Kill Minimum Wage

With all of the media attention surround the battle for an increased minimum wage, one company may soon be stepping in that will render all of the talk meaningless. Momentum Machines of San Francisco, California has developed a robot that is capable of doing all of the work a team of pubescent teenagers must now do to get you your Happy Meal. (H/T to the Libertarian Republic.)

From Momentum Machines website:

Fast food doesn’t have to have a negative connotation anymore. With our technology, a restaurant can offer gourmet quality burgers at fast food prices.

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Our alpha machine frees up all of the hamburger line cooks in a restaurant.

It does everything employees can do except better:

It slices toppings like tomatoes and pickles immediately before it places the slice onto your burger, giving you the freshest burger possible.

Our next revision will offer custom meat grinds for every single customer. Want a patty with 1/3 pork and 2/3 bison ground to order? No problem.

Also, our next revision will use gourmet cooking techniques never before used in a fast food restaurant, giving the patty the perfect char but keeping in all the juices.

It’s more consistent, more sanitary, and can produce ~360 hamburgers per hour.

The labor savings allow a restaurant to spend approximately twice as much on high quality ingredients and the gourmet cooking techniques make the ingredients taste that much better.

burgermachineOh, yeah. Is anyone else hungry for this?

Imagine the impact of such a machine on the international workforce. Imagine what the impact could be on the price of food across the world! Obviously the machine was designed with the burger industry in mind, but the basics could obviously be carried over throughout the food industry.

Millions of teenagers would find themselves without work. Millions of minimum wage jobs would immediately be gone forever. It could actually render the minimum wage argument unnecessary.

Not sure about the applications across the field? Well, Momentum Machines is quite confident.

Our current device can pay for itself in less than one year, making equipment sales a second path for us.

Our current machine can be used in other restaurants, convenience stores, food trucks, and even in vending applications.

Will liberals be upset at the introduction of this new technology? Probably, at first. They always seem a bit unwilling to change when change is foisted upon them. However, the tremendous scope of possibilities that a machine like this opens up is just too much to avoid.

So what will happen?

Fear not, dear reader. The loss of millions of minimum wage jobs will be a shock. But if we keep the Democrats from opening welfare up to literally everyone… we should move forward without a hitch. The same thing that happens with every new innovation and invention will happen here — we will adapt and we will meet these new challenges. A new avenue for teenage work-ethic training will be created by some young entrepreneur and the memories of fast-food teenage angst will fade with time.

This is what we do.

Conservatives. Capitalists. Americans. We innovate. We invent. We move forward – even as the progressives (Ironic, Natch.) try and slow us down.


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