The Brothers of Liberal Logic

I’m always amazed at how liberals get away with making moral claims. They take credit for so-called charity, but never actually lift a finger, other than to point it, and call others uncaring, insensitive, racist or worse.

Meet Liberal Logic.  He’s a utopian dreamer who’s got it all figured out.  He just moved to Washington from Texas.  One day after getting settled in, he walked into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits and drinks in the darkest back corner of the room.  Drinking alone, he sips out of each mug in turn.

When he finishes all three he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

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The bartender curious of why Liberal Logic buys three mugs at a time and tells him, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.  It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

Liberal Logic replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers.  One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.  When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.  So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and figures it best to just leave it there.

Liberal Logic becomes a regular at the bar, and always drinks the same way.  He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, Liberal Logic comes in and only orders two mugs.  All the regulars take notice and fall silent.  When he comes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

Liberal Logic looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs and replies, “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine, it’s just that my wife and I joined the Open Mind Church recently, and I had to quit drinking.”

“Hasn’t affected my brothers though.”

liberal-logic-81112082045And so it goes with Liberal Logic, he claims to have changed his ways, but his actions prove otherwise.  His thinking is warped, arbitrary, subjective, random; it lacks true logic and true reason.

It’s the classic Robin Hood story.  The liberal neighbor justifies stealing from one neighbor to help another and claims for himself the title of Good Samaritan.  The angry neighbor he stole from is labelled greedy for wanting to keep his possessions.  He is labeled intolerant for not acknowledging the superior nature of his “caring” neighbor Liberal Logic.

Liberal Logic thinks himself a real superior guy because the neighbor he helped appreciates the hand outs and has told him so.  As the help continues, the neighbors’ gratitude fades and his sense of entitlement begins to set in.  And thus the permanent welfare plantation is further rooted and expanded.

Liberal Logic loves the warm fuzzy feeling he gets from helping people in need (and for voting for people with the same mindset who can do such good works on a broader scale) so much so, he continues to steal from others without a care and continues to give it away with ease to those he deems needy.  Never once does Liberal Logic stop to see the fallacy in his thinking or his actions.  For what he took and what he gave was never of himself, but of others who earned it. He allows error to corrupt his thinking into believing what he has done is good, when in fact, what he was doing was evil.  Equally, the recipient gives credit to the thief and not those who actually earned it.

Liberal Logic is no more than a drunk on utopian dreams who is comfortable in his own self medicated delusional state — his conscience inebriated from the truth.  Liberal Logic is more than a joke or a contradiction in terms — he’s a bad neighbor and a dangerous philosophy that undermines the very liberty and virtue for which he claims the mantle.

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by

About the author

David Whitley

David is a deacon at his local church and a perpetual student of religion, politics and American history. Author, speaker, blogger, David lives in Southern California with his wife and their three children. You can follow him on Twitter @cogitarus or online at He's available for speaking engagements upon request.

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