Gender Identity in the 1950’s… and then some Homemade Cookies

Stephen Bowers
Written by Stephen Bowers

I am relieved. I have been fretting the problem facing Obama for some time now. He has been casting about for a Legacy Issue during his entire tenure. Cash for Clunkers looked good but faded as soon as we realized it hurt the used car and parts industry and accomplished nothing positive unless you count positively inflating the Debt. Closing Gitmo just hasn’t gotten him any serious camera time.  His golf scores are probably not gonna’ work since they are sealed as tightly as his academic record at Harvard. (Did Ike seal his golf scores?) (Do you suppose Obama seals his golf scores because he suspects since Americans are already irritated he golfs too much …and if they found his scores are as dismal as his sense of style with blue jeans,,, they might start barricading the streets? You know…storm the Bastille? If you haven’t noticed, he does see himself as a reincarnation of Louis XIV. Narcissists are very paranoid under it all. Or so I’ve read. Not speaking from personal experience. In his mindset, these things could occur.)

Back on point… Obamacare has turned into a horrific and sleazy scandal.  The Obamacare Website has turned into a horrific, sleazy, nepotistic and hilarious scandal. ISIS operates a more efficient recruitment website. His “Pullout” from Iraq and Afghanistan has created ISIS. So, technically… the Pullout is a scandal, too.

So…that’s why I am so relieved he has finally found something he can hang his presidential hat on… in the “Gay, Transgender, Pervo, Cross-Dressing Horse Excrement” thingy. This “Issue” is custom made to be his Presidential Legacy thingo. Liberal paleontologists tell us we’re descended from apes and chimps. If so…why do apes and chimps seem not to need Obama’s always so instructive social commentary and engineering? When they do what wild bears do in the woods, they don’t make a big deal out of it. They just do it. They don’t need to be told where to do it or who has an inalienable right to join and watch (and molest?) them while they heed Nature’s call. Those bruiser Silverbacks don’t need telling they can join little female apes behind the bushes. They don’t do it…but if you peak at their daughter …look out! Gorillas just do it in the woods…and forget it. Except, of course, in the Cincinnati Zoo Ape House. Dad and Mom took us there every year. The gorillas there grab their excrement and delight in flinging it at the human gawkers beyond their bars. I think the Zoo finally installed glass barriers to prevent the humans from getting plastered with poo.

Forgetting for the moment what Camille Paglia (not exactly a stalwart Conservative thinker) reminded us a few weeks ago… ie; contained in every six foot strand of DNA coding contained inside every nucleus inside each of the trillions of cells in your body… is a not so subtle reminder you are a boy or girl. Your DNA ain’t confused… even if you are.

Speaking of Ike… imagine how this crap would have gone over in the Fifties! Big trouble! The cartoon harks back to that simpler(?) time. How would June Cleaver have explained this stuff to the Beaver? If you weren’t there, it’s hard to explain that era. Millions of guys on the G.I Bill studying to become doctors, engineers and (ergh) lawyers. Just back from whipping Hitler’s minions and Imperial Japan and half spoiling for a fight with Stalin’s lackeys. Then Ike tells ’em they have to be ready to have weirdoes share the ladies room with their little girls! It would have been worse than a “Non-Starter.”  I can’t imagine the fun Wally and Eddie Haskel would have had debriefing the Beav’ after June’s telling the Beaver he could now saunter into the girl’s bathroom at school whenever he wished. And then he would start getting trained on how he has a duty to saunter into the girl’s room to show his solidarity with the lecherous guys who now haunt the ladies room …not realizing Miss Landers uses her own bathroom at home before and after school…since the new edict. Also not realizing they’re only going to be able to peek at the tall homely girl who always delighted in pointing out Beaver’s and Whitey’s foibles, which Miss Landers may have missed. Putting Obama’s Edict into the Fifties highlights the stupidity of this latest Big Issue. Ironically, it seems to make sense to the average uninformed and dumbed down Joe Sixpack of today. We’ve slid a long way down a very slippery slope already.

At any rate, this is good for Obama’s Legacy. It really suites him. And he is so bereft of gray matter he will be flattered. He was flattered when The Affordable Care Act morphed into “Obamacare.” He was so narcissistic he didn’t smell the incipient derision in the morphed name. He may balk at “The Gay, Transgender, Pervo, Cross-Dressing Horse Excrement Enabling Act.” Maybe. But, maybe he won’t notice the sarcasm of being called  “The PeePee President” or “Bathroom Boy” or “Bathroom Obama.”

Ps: I was only kidding when I said Beaver would be instructed to enter the girl’s restroom to show solidarity and sensitivity to the Gay, Transgender, Pervo, Cross-Dressing Weirdoes in his school. But you know it is coming. Soon there will be a new Federal Department created to monitor our participation and support of this crap. We will all be issued a “Transgender Card” that will need to be punched in the ladies lounge by a machine to show we went into a ladies room at least once a day. It will start in the schools. (You think I’m kidding.) I had a friend who grew up in Nazi Germany…actually in Transylvania. To him …as a kid…it seemed perfectly natural that if he failed to salute the ubiquitous portrait of Hitler when he entered his classroom … the class Monitor (ie; the biggest boy in his class) knocked him on his posterior. The Krauts were smarter and better educated than the average dumbed down Sixpack guy today. But one day their kids were saluting Hitler’s portrait every morning. At school.  It happens.

Pss; Camille Paglia will not like it when creeps infest the ladies lounge at her favorite hangouts. She’s a radical feminist, but she has a brain. She won’t go quietly into that dull and dark oblivion called Political Correctness.


The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by

About the author

Stephen Bowers

Stephen Bowers

I am an attorney in Las Vegas who has always wanted to draw political cartoons, partly because I like drawing, but mostly because I enjoy ridiculing pompous know-nothings. Verbally debating them gets nowhere. They don't know they're beaten. But poking fun at them in a drawing leaves them without recourse or rebuttal. What can they do...? Call me names, whine, cuss me ... or maybe draw a witty riposte? Unlikely.
Steve Bowers, Esq.

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