Let Me Count The Ways That I Hate Liberals

Let Me Count The Ways That I Hate Liberals

After Edna St. Vincent Millay


How do I hate thee?  Let me count the ways.

I hate thee because you hate me for being a right wing conspirator

When I am a moderate conservative.


I hate thee for hating me for hating same sex marriage,

Believing that homosexuality is a failure to identify with your own bodies,

To be who you are rather than your identification with the opposite.

It’s just an opinion.

Lighten up.

Be helium instead of an angry stone in a grill.


I hate thee because you think that I am stupid for wanting

Abortions to only be in the first trimester.


I hate thee for supporting Obama’s infanticide in the Chicago Senate.


I hate thee because you elected the most liberal president in history,

Called him a rock star,

And failed to see that communism is more deadly than fascism.


I hate thee because you promote marijuana when

I flipped out on pot in my twenties.

Mescaline was the next step.

I tripped.

I fell.


I hate thee because you believe that Obama’s military weakness

Is good and you prepare our deaths down the line.

National suicide is your exceptionalism.

Liberals make Neville Chamberlain look like Attila the Hun.

The jihadists are learning to goose step.


I hate thee because you didn’t criticize Obama for playing golf

After Foley’s beheading.


I hate thee for not caring that Obama put us eighteen trillion dollars

In debt.


I hate thee for sucking up to Obama’s racism and divisiveness–

Riots in Fergusson, Baltimore and what’s coming

In the days to come.


I hate thee for blaming cops for busting criminals.


I hate thee for thine smugness, your confidence despite failures

And your belief that you have the answer to the world.


I hate thee because you don’t know the meaning of compromise.


I hate thee because your leader won’t use the term “radical Islam”

And you don’t impeach him.


I hate thee because you are wrong when you are politically correct.


I hate thee because you don’t object to Al Sharpton hanging out

At the White House.


I hate thee for thinking that Michelle Obama is beautiful

And patriotic rather than narcissistic and awkward.


I hate the for turning an asset into a negative,

An opinion into political correctness,

A spoiled complaint into an adamant ideology.


I hate thee because you feel intellectually  superior to me when

I have a Ph.D. and you only have a B.A. Degree.


I hate thee for saying you are a bright liberal bulb when your light

Is already  burned out.


I hate thee because you hate yourself and just don’t know it.


I hate thee for turning a utopian moveable feast into food stamps.


I hate thee for sacrificing flexible humanity for the rigid reflex

Of naïve liberalism.


I hate thee for thinking that you can telephone God on an Obama phone.


You blow a whistle that isn’t there so that you might hear the shape

Of nothing.


I am the nothing that was and the nothing that is.

I will be nothing.


If I am remembered for my poems I will be forgotten for the sake

Of time.


Time is a major hammer that knocks off my head.

I hear the wind rushing in the lack of trees and find my ears

Glued to the branches.


I will miss you when I am gone even though you will be with me

In the dead log of my imagination.


The beaver that gnaws at me can’t locate the position of his dentures.

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by EagleRising.com

About the author

David Lawrence

David Lawrence

David Lawrence has a Ph.D. in literature. He has published over 200 blogs, 600 poems, a memoir “The King of White-Collar Boxing,” several books of poems, including “Lane Changes.” Both can be purchased on Amazon.com. He was a professional boxer and a CEO. Last year he was listed in New York Magazine as the 41st reason to love New York.

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