Police in Manatee County, Florida spent an inordinate amount of time investigating an alleged kiss that took place between two 7-year old students last week. And when I say “inordinate” amount of time… I mean any time at all. There is no reason, ever, for the police to be wasting their time investigating a kiss between 7-year old elementary students.
But they did.
Apparently someone, somewhere in Manatee County saw or heard that the two children had kissed “on the lips” during class and a police officer actually went to the school to investigate! In a report titled “lewd and lascivious” the police describe the terrible events that led them to a Florida elementary school. Thankfully the report doesn’t actually say who reported this horrible crime, because it is likely that someone would have to track them down and hit them in the head with a tack hammer for wasting valuable police time.
The police officer who investigated the incident, one Deputy April Culbreath, spoke to the teacher who witnessed the alleged incident. After their conversation the Deputy was convinced that there was no foul play at hand and that there was “no indication that there was anything sexual about this incident.”
Fortunately for the two students the deputy also concluded that no one broke any law.
Whew! Bullet dodged, folks!
Seriously, do we not have better things to do as a society than worry about two 7-year olds acting like 7-year olds?
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