I wish I could draw cartoons like Stephen Bowers. Or wield a sharp verbal rapier the way Onan Coca does.
Instead, when I read or watch or listen to the daily news, I am stuck with whatever talents the good Lord gave me. What so often comes through to me is the absolute absurdity of so many situations, and that brings out my often irreverent penchant for humor. (At least I think my writing is funny. I laugh uproariously even when my wife doesn’t.) I fully realize that this is not always a good thing because so much of the news deals with such dire events. But, alas, I am who I am, and there’s not much I can do about that.
For example, from the Associated Press: “The State Department said Monday [9/9/13] it would take a ‘hard look’ at a proposal for Syria to surrender its chemical weapons to international control to avoid a military strike, but voiced skepticism that Syria would carry out such a plan.” The operative words here are “international control” and “skepticism.”
Maybe Syria could turn over its chemical weapons to Russia or China. That would make me sleep so much better. Even better than Russia or China, it would be good for Syria to surrender its chemical weapons to Egypt, now being run by the freedom loving Muslim Brotherhood that we all know is our friend.
No wonder that the State Department is skeptical. It should be, but who knows, perhaps that grand statesman John Kerry may just be able to pull it off if he can have a meeting with Assad at the White House. After all, maybe we could show Assad the same kind of hospitality we showed Prime Minister Netanyahu of Israel.
Or Kerry could invite Mr. Assad for a cruise on his yacht that is moored off of the coast of Massachusetts or is it Connecticut. (Is the tax assessor due soon?) He could grill some steaks and serve them with a healthy ration of Heinz 57 Steak Sauce.
In another AP offering we learn that “Vice President Joe Biden says he may have to postpone an upcoming trip to Panama, as Congress wrestles with an authorization for the U.S. military to strike Syria. … He’s pointing to pressures in the Senate, where lawmakers are debating President Barak Obama’s request for a military response to chemical weapons use in Syria.”
We sure don’t want Biden to be gone when this matter comes to a vote in the Senate. After all, Vice President Biden’s job is to (1) preside over the Senate when it is in session, (2) cast a deciding vote should there be a tie, and (3) be the President’s best insurance against impeachment. Other than that, Joe doesn’t have a whole lot to do unless you count serving beer if the President needs to have another Beer Summit should Assad be invited to the White House to discuss the surrender of chemical weapons to international control. No, wait, Muslims don’t drink alcoholic beverages. Well, maybe just this once for the sake of world peace.
As Will Rogers once said, “There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”
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