Help Wanted: Terrorists Need Not Apply

Have you been terrified today? No? Okay, well then let me be the first to help that get done.

It would probably not surprise you to learn that Islamic terrorists are often plotting different ways to try to attack our great nation. There are likely hundreds of these groups scattered around the world, with thousands (perhaps millions) of members. Each one fighting its own battles whether in North Africa, the Middle East, or further East Asia. In their free time they probably gather together and attempt to draw up some kind of credible plan to hurt the United States in any way possible.

Apparently, these groups have some crossover ideas because a recently released document from NSA leaker Edward Snowden shows that 1 out of every 5 applicants for the CIA, NSA and other top defense agencies is connected to a terrorist organization. The terrorist groups trying the hardest to infiltrate our defense agencies are Hamas, Hezbollah, and al-Qaeda. What really strikes me about this news is that we are about to engage in the Syrian Civil War where al-Qaeda supporting rebels are fighting the Hezbollah supporting Syrian government!

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Irony, your name is Syria.

hire meAnyway, is this not terrifying news? 20% of the applicants to our top spy and defense agencies are likely terrorists. That concerns me. “Over the last several years, a small subset of CIA’s total job applicants were flagged due to various problems or issues… During this period, one in five of that small subset was found to have significant connections to hostile intelligence services and-or terrorist groups.”

On a different level, there is some comforting news for us in this and that is – at least we figured this out. Apparently the application process to become a CIA or NSA agent is pretty rigorous, and they have been able to weed out the “not-so-good” applicants. The NSA actually took even more steps once they realized what was happening. They launched a series of investigations into 4,000 different instances of “abnormal” activity by their staff. Meaning…  they spied on their people, a lot. (Which is not unusual for the NSA – oh, burn!)

Hopefully, these agencies continue to practice rigorous application processes because even one mistake in hiring could be very costly.


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