I was watching an old 1940’s black and white flick last night. I love those movies. This one had a minimum of that famous flaw we all hate…you know…the “Movie Stupid Person,” which ranks up there with the dreaded “Plot Holes.” In this film, ” Blonde Ice,” or something like that, some beautiful blonde dame has it all. Fame, fortune, talent, writing skills (much coveted by lawyers), looks, sartorially savvy, pursued by rich and powerful men, but, alas, betrayed by her favorite lover and best meal ticket, a Washington power player who dumps her. When he dumps her because he doesn’t think she’ll fit into his plans in Washington, DC, she appears to take the bad news like a real “stand-up guy/dame” and pores mister Formerly Wonderful a drink, immediately after which, he STUPIDLY turns away for a moment while explaining how much he appreciates her reasonableness and understanding by allowing him to continue on his merry way in Washington where she would have never happily fit in. His wordiness and inattentiveness (and his failure to understand really ruthless women, which, unfortunately, do not only inhabit the big screen) are his undoing. As he prattles away she reaches for a small letter opener and strides silently toward him and sticks the sharp end between a couple of his ribs and scapula. His condescending lecture about her gauche social skills being poorly suited to the rigors of society in Washington (I know…what a joke that is modernly) ends abruptly and we hear her beautiful voice laughing eerily. He knew she was ruthless, without natural affection, selfish, incredibly ambitious and not to be trifled with…ever…but, he was a classic MSP and pushin’ up daisies in the next scene.
Now, when Larry, Moe and Curly pull this kind of stuff we aren’t bothered. In fact, it’s the main staple of their schtick. When they are painting something, we expect them to put paint into a ceramic coffee cup, which is identical to the cup from which they are drinking coffee. And when Larry reaches for the coffee cup for a sip, we expect him to mistakenly take the paint filled cup and swallow a big gulp without even noticing the unmistakable odor of turpentine. He drinks it down, makes a horrible face, Moe yanks a hunk of his hair out by the roots (for wasting paint, I guess), Larry winces again, Curly laughs his characteristic laugh and we kids are rolling on the floor. It didn’t matter that we weren’t surprised with Larry’s stupid mistake we expected stupidity from those three guys. (Just as a note… My Mom always warned us kids we’d turn into idiots if we watched the Stooges. As cruel reality has frequently taught me…my parents were far wiser than we kids thought at the time.)
But the suave guy in Blonde Ice wasn’t one of the Stooges. So…how do we explain his Movie Stupidity? He knew the Dame’s character, ruthlessness and over-reaching ambition…yet he still turns his back on her after “scorning” her. That’s stupid. And we’re insulted.
But, just like ruthless cruel blondes, Stupidity is not limited to the big screen. For instance, like the Movie Stupid Guy, the American electorate was told by Obama he was gonna’ destroy the big bad coal industry (in spite of tremendous energy cost increases for the average consumer), but we still voted for him. He told us he would close Gitmo because the whole Islamic thing was over rated, but we still voted for him. He told us he would overpower Islamic terrorist states with the force of his own charisma, but we still voted for him. He told us a vote for him would stop the oceans from rising (yeah…remember that one?), but we still voted for him. He told us voting for him would end “Racism in America” (and Michelle could finally be proud of the country that made her richer than 99.99999% of the world’s people precisely because she WAS black), and things like Ferguson would never happen, but we still voted for him. I love those old movies. It harks back to a time when stupidity was far more frequent on the big screen than at the polling places.
Then I got some serious yuks by watching Robert Mitchum play Philip Marlowe. That guy plays a MSP very well …and makes it funny.
The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by EagleRising.com