In my email one morning, I received one of those lists of short comments and anecdotes that are purported to be true. You know the kind I mean. I have not checked the veracity of the following statements, but if they are not true, they are close to the truth.
- I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 and said, “May I have large bills, please?” She looked at me and answered, “I’m sorry, sir, but all the bills are the same size.”
- When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a technician working feverishly to unlock the driver’s door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open.” His reply: “I know. I already got that side.”
- We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the door opener. I told him that we had bought the largest motor that was available at the time we had the door installed, a 1/2 horsepower motor. He shook his head and said. “Lady you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that 1/2 horsepower is larger than 1/4 horsepower. He said, “No, it’s not; 4 is larger than 2.”
- My daughter went to a local fast food restaurant and asked for minimal lettuce on her hamburger. The clerk said he was sorry, but they did not have that kind of lettuce. “We only have iceberg lettuce.”
- I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything into your luggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded. “That’s why we ask.”
- The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. One day I was crossing with a co-worker, and she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving cars?”
- I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself then plugged in her computer and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her computer wouldn’t turn on.
They walk among us, and they vote!
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