Arts and Entertainment

Marc’s Private Jewish Political Fantasies

(This is a SATIRE)

I am Marc.  I am liberal. I voted for Obama.  I know that doesn’t seem that wise now, but back then I was thinking of the Nazis and how Obama never said anything nasty like them.  He was all positive about brotherhood and love. He sucked me in.  He was beautiful.  He wore nice suits.

As a Jew I obviously hated right wing Nazis.  Obama’s closeness to left wing communism made me feel that he was safe and an ally of my people.  That was before writers like Lionel Goldberg discovered the concept of liberal fascism. Before I realized that Nazism and Communism had the same theocratic, large bureaucratic base.  That left met right in a handshake of destruction.

Obama said he liked Israel.  Well, he also said that the most beautiful sound was the Muslim call to prayer from the mosque.  I guess that was on days when his wonderful peaceful Muslims were not decapitating innocent people or raping children.  Let’s not forget the crucifixions.  Muslims crucified Christians as a cruel mockery of the religion they hated.

The crucified by Isis don’t make beautiful sounds like Obama’s call to prayer.  Obama is almost Godly.  He forgave all the terrorists for their atrocities and didn’t even name them terrorists.  He didn’t want to get them angry.  He is an appeaser like Neville Chamberlain. Chamberlain was a pacifist like Gandhi.  Obama is a great man.  He doesn’t care about protecting our particular country.  He is truly global and multi-national.

Wow.  Obama’s Muslim background showed that he was going to bring all the Muslims, Jews and Christians together in a festivity of solemn religion.  Maybe he’d even get Reverend Wright’s anti-American Trinity United Church of Christ to break bread with his Muslim heritage.

Beautiful thoughts.  I was converted by him into the religion of Obamaism before the Greek columns in Denver.  He was so beautiful.  He even had not-so-bright, lyrically challenged, unmelodic Bruce Springsteen sing some blasé lyrics about “Born in the U.S.A”

Obama-vs-Israel-II-280x230Was Obama born in the U.S.A.?  Who knows, but I wouldn’t ask that because I don’t want to be accused of being a doubter or a racist. As a good Jew I would never be a racist.  I defend blacks even when they are wrong.  Obama is one of the worst Presidents we’ve ever had, but I consider his skin color to be more important than his failings.  I applaud the color of his skin, not the content of his character. I am the opposite of Martin Luther King, who should have been more violent and reverse racist like Malcolm X.

I actually partially voted for Obama because he was black.  I can’t stand prejudice because of all the prejudice my Jewish people have received. That’s why I chose the Democrats instead of the Republicans who actually stopped slavery.

The Democrats are offshoots of liberalism-socialism-communism.  It doesn’t matter that communism killed more people than fascism.  Stalin and his offshoots said such beautiful things about worker equality and income fairness. A little like Obama and his goon, de Blasio. Obama printed up “forward” in his second campaign. I guess that’s because if you look forward you don’t look back at the destruction in your wake, like the horrors Daisy and Tom Buchannan left in “The Great Gatsby.”

I admit I’m a little dismayed that millionaire Obama promised to help the middle class yet their incomes went down three thousand dollars a year. Now he is going to make things worse for the blacks by giving jobs to five million illegal aliens.  What generosity of purpose.  He is willing to forsake his own people to help poor, needy immigrants. And he doesn’t need the black vote anymore.  He already milked them at the last two elections.

Don’t forget that he’s willing to let Iran get the nuclear bomb.  That’s fair.  Why shouldn’t everyone have one in the spirit of democratic self-destruction.

I was a little sad that income disparity increased no matter how Obama said he was going to bridge the gap.  And heaven forbid in the gender wage gap the women in the White House earn less under Obama than the men.  I mean these things aren’t his fault.  George Bush is obviously behind them.

How?  I don’t know.  In the Obama world saying makes it so.  Of course I loved the idea of universal health care.  Maybe if everything was universal they’d stop killing Jews.  Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that I couldn’t keep my doctor or my health plan.  But that wasn’t Obama’s fault.  It was Jonathan Gruber’s.  He had a big mouth and admitted too much. That wasn’t smart.  Intelligence is Obama’s lies. He promises improvements that result in liabilities. He is tricky for a transparent guy.

And then there is terrorism.  That was George Bush’s fault. He never should have invaded Iraq and gotten rid of that lovely dictator, Hussein.  And he blamed it on weapons of mass destruction, which turned out to not exist until they were actually discovered.  And Bush never should have done the surge.

He wasn’t nice to al-Qaeda.

ISIS armyObama smartly put an end to that.  He removed all the troops from Iraq, refused to cooperate on a status of forces agreement and gave rise to Isis. So while Isis and al-Qaeda are running around beheading people, Obama is bragging that he’s degraded them and that the world is a safer place.  He golfs after a beheading and makes speeches about whatever atrocity.  He points his finger and speaks like Hitler but he only says nice things that have concomitant bad results. He draws red lines in invisible ink.

I hate Hitler.  I am a Jew.  But I don’t know, Obama is black and I don’t want to be a racist.  It’s not my fault that he drops bombs in all the wrong places and doesn’t manage to weaken Isis.  Imagine that the puny King of Jordan with almost no army executes two terrorists while Obama with a huge army does nothing after the burning of the doe-faced Jordanian pilot, Maaz al-Kassasbeh.  When Obama threatens Isis they laugh.  He never follows through with anything except his ratifying his lies. The consistency of his lies is a beautiful political tapestry.

And what about Charlie Hebdo.  Oh, that’s right, Obama didn’t go to Paris out of respect for the dead and to stand up against terrorism.  He didn’t even send his idiot poodle, Joe Biden.  He was on his leash, barking approval of his magnificent leader.  He was pooping on his own previous career.

And why hasn’t Obama invited Netanyahu to visit but allows Iran to get nuclear weapons?  He is worried that sanctions might make them angry like he is worried that Gitmo will hurt the feelings of the terrorists so he let’s them lose to kill us again.

Do you think that Obama might conspire with Netanyahu who has even a bigger stake in keeping Iran without nukes?  But I shouldn’t fret about Israel because Obama says he is a friend.  All those worry warts who consider him their worst enemy are wrong.  Obama is a generous leader.  He only pretends that he is a Muslim sympathizer and hates American exceptionalism.

My wife calls me a jump-in- the- oven-Jew because I support Obama.  Well, it’s a cold winter.  A little baking won’t hurt me.  Obama will salve me in the burn unit under his affordable health care.

Gee I’m glad I’m Jewish.  I’m very bright.  I know finance. I just don’t know how to survive.  It’s more important than I support the great Obama so I can pat myself on the back as a good liberal. Some people think that I’m a racist because I use Obama’s blackness to support him.  Nonsense.  The man is a genius.  He won a Nobel Prize for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy. Of course this was before he had done anything but mouth teleprompter speeches.  This was before the Mideast burned and Isis raped little girls.  This is before the race riots in Ferguson.  This is before Obama mistook speeches for action and inspired divisiveness and chaos.

Not that I still am not glad that I voted for him.  He is great.  It’s the fault of George Bush and those Tea Partiers who are still quibbling about the Revolution and taxation without representation. Yeah, we northern Jews are so smart.  We vote against our own interests and support Obama to prove that we are good guys.  That way the Nazis won’t come in and kill us again.

The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by EagleRising.com


About the author

David Lawrence

David Lawrence

David Lawrence has a Ph.D. in literature. He has published over 200 blogs, 600 poems, a memoir “The King of White-Collar Boxing,” several books of poems, including “Lane Changes.” Both can be purchased on Amazon.com. He was a professional boxer and a CEO. Last year he was listed in New York Magazine as the 41st reason to love New York.

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